HA!

Joke came in my email today; enjoy!

Why I Was Fired

For the last company picnic, management decided that, due to liability issues, we could have alcoholic drinks, but only one drink per person.

I was fired for ordering the cups. 

Thwarted

My plans to go for a solo ride around Pipeline and the Wolverton Spring Loop were jettisoned...some big lightning strikes and rain moved in one Hardscrabble.




Maybe later this week.

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Amazing Beer Facts

Better Late Than Never

Sorry kids.  Little late on last week's version of IFFB!

Here's some reading for your pleasure.  Enjoy!

What if the Big XII Universities were girls?

Texas is the hottest, richest chick around. She can have anybody she wants. If you land Texas , all of your dreams come true. What you don't realize is that at the end of the day, you are going to be sitting outside of the dressing room at Nordstrom's with your thumb up your ass holding her purse while she tries on a bunch of really expensive ****. If you can live with her wearing the pants in the family, then fine. But you'd better learn to like working for her daddy and having her tell you what to wear when you go to the club for dinner on Sunday nights.

OU is a hot chick with big fake boobs who spends lots of time in the gym, but she's a huge whore. The bad news is that OU will cheat on you. The good news is that OU doesn't care if you cheat on her. It's all fun and games until someone doesn't practice safe sex or your neighbors are snickering at you behind your back because your girl got double teamed by a couple of conventioneers at the Anatole the week of the Cotton Bowl.

A&M is somewhat good looking and intelligent, but completely bat **** crazy. You can't tell if A&M is bipolar or just having really bad PMS. But either way, she is going to say and do a whole bunch of **** that is just going to leave you scratching your head or ducking for cover. A&M also has two really huge problems: 1) A&M thinks she is much hotter and much smarter than she really is; and 2) She's got all sorts of issues with Texas . Both of those feed into her mania. You don't know what you are getting with this nut job, but it wouldn't surprise you if she cut off all of her hair and joined the SEC, and then 10 minutes later realized how bad she f*cked up and came back to you in hysterics.

Colorado is the hippy chick who spends all day on Pearl Street dropping empty gas tank lines on the tourists until her father comes to pick her up in his Benz on the way home from his law practice. Colorado is desirable as long as you can duck batteries, put up with poor hygiene and don't mind the smell of patchouli.

Tech is cute but has poor self esteem. If you pay any attention to her whatsoever, she will love you forever. She's the type who gives you a smoker on the way to dinner and would be just as content to be your f*ck buddy. The worse you treat Tech, the more she loves you.

Oklahoma State is a less attractive and sluttier version of OU. She might look pretty good if you've had a few drinks, and she'll let you do anything you want to her in bed. You also might think that she's rich, but then you find out that all of her credit cards are maxed out and she can't afford the car she's driving.

Baylor is overweight, homely and manipulative, and is always sticking her nose into your business where it doesn't belong. Baylor will try every trick in the world to land the right guy. Baylor will lie, cheat, steal, backstab, blackmail, etc... and then justify it all by going to church on Sunday and asking Jesus for forgiveness. The worst part about Baylor is that she won't give it up, but will try to cock-block you every chance that she gets.

Nebraska is a cougar who has lost her fastball and is jealous of the other hotter chicks (i.e., Texas ). She just spent $2500 on botox and lip injections, and she now looks like the joker when she smiles. It's sad to see such a former hottie act so desperately and what's worse, she can't decide whether she should try to hook up with an aging sugar daddy or go have a series of one-nighters with the drunk twenty-somethings she picks up at Midnight Rodeo.

Kansas is your classic butterface. Great body, but she looks like she fell off the ugly tree and hit every branch on the way down. At the end of the day, the bad grill outweighs the nice tight a$$, because you never want to take her out in public. The last thing you want is to wake up the next morning and have Kansas staring you in the face.

Missouri is cute, but not hot. She's a nice girl and has a great personality, but needs to drop about 15 lbs. You can see how she could be more attractive, but she's not ever going to be very sexy, no matter what she does. Missouri is the girl you feel guilty cheating on, but you do it anyway.

Kansas State is overweight and stupid. A few years ago when she lost a ton of weight and looked pretty good, you hooked up with her. Now, you look back and can't even imagine that it is the same human being. You ignore her Facebook friend request and pretend you don't recognize or remember her when you run into her in public.

Iowa State is the drunken fat chick at the end of the bar that is just happy to be out of the house. The other girls are nice to Iowa State , mostly because they all look better standing next to her. Iowa State is the type who gets stuck with the huge bar tab at the end of the night and goes home alone unless some really wasted chubby chaser ends up tagging her.

Border War

Yes, this relates to mountain biking...

Recent picture posted to Mountain Bike Action website shows a warning sign south of Interstate 8 in Arizona.  As you can see, this sign indicates the potential for dangerous criminal activity, within United States borders, related to illegals from Mexico.

These signs are literally 80 miles from the border...which amounts to as much as a concession of the southernmost 80 miles of the United States of America in California, Arizona, New Mexico and Texas, to Mexico.

Mexico sucks.

Guess who's winning the Border War?

Maybe the anti-Obama citizens have it wrong.  He's not African American, he's not Muslim - he's Mexican.

How does Felipe Calderon's johnson feel in your hind parts, Mr. President? Oh, by the way - the KY is on aisle 12...

IFF, B!

Time to start a new recurring post.  Let's call it: 

It's fuckin' Friday, bitch!

I'm in a pretty good mood today...I keep watching this video over and over again, laughin' my ass off.

 



Time to roll on down to the Mountain Pedaler and do some tubeless conversions on my Intense Spider 29. Let ya know how it works out.

GO RIDE!

Thrilling

Friend posted this on Facebook today...it's siiiiiick.

When Is It Going To End?

Still crappy. Loaded up on Alka-Seltzer Night Cold medicine...again... and hoping tonight fares better than the past two. Haven't had more than 3 consecutive hours of sleep since Friday night.

Not competing in the VRD #3 race tomorrow. Sucks. But at least I'm starting to feel human again...I can kinda breathe, but the sinus pressure is unreal. Need a couple more days off to clear it, methinks.

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Ugh...

Still sick. Loaded up on meds right now. Wednesday's race isn't looking very good.


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Giving 'er A Go

Riding well...

Erin raced this past Wednesday at the Eagle Classic (VRD #2)!

And she looks like she knows what she's doing!

Being Sick Sucks

Yesterday, Erin and I headed down to the front range so Erin could race in the Beti Bike Bash, a 'women-only' (no flannel, ripped jeans or steel-toe boots, so we're okay) mountain bike race on the trails around Bear Creek Lake in Lakewood, CO.  Weather looked pretty dodgy the night before, with rain and low-50s forecast for the entire day.  Leave the house at 6am for a 9am start, pull into the parking lot, and it's been raining for a while.  No race.  Boooooooo...

We hung out in D-Town the rest of the day, grabbing some (more) breakfast and doing some shopping.  Got back into Eagle at a modest time, but decided just to chill the rest of the evening.

Sometime overnight, I noticed I was developing a sore throat.  Wake up this morning, and it's a full-on head cold.  Sinus congestion, sore throat, headache, etc.  So I've been laying around the house all day.  Fun.

Hopefully my health will come around quickly...have VRD #3 - Berry Creek Bash on tap for Wednesday evening.

Recent MTB Racing

Well, it's been almost a week and a half since I last graced you with my thoughts, and quite a bit has been happening lately.

Last weekend saw the 2010 Teva Mountain Games come into Vail for the weekend.  This is a veritable "olympics" of outdoor athletics, including trail running, whitewater boating, fly fishing, rock climbing/bouldering, outdoor dog competitions, and of course, mountain biking.  The Teva Mountain Games had a very subtle start several years ago...but has absolutely blown up in recent years.  Offering a bouldering competition that is part of the World Cup, and a XC mountain bike race boasting some of the largest purses anywhere, the best athletes in the world started showing up.  And so did the spectators.

No idea how many this year, but last year's reports indicated more than 40,000 spectators showed up for the four-day event.

This year was no exception.  A XC pro race featuring Jeremy Horgan-Kobelski and Sam Schultz (Subaru/Gary Fisher), Barry Wicks (Kona), Colin Cares (Kenda/Felt), Todd Wells (Clif Bar), as well as locals Jay Henry (Tokyo Joe's) and Jake Wells (Mafia Racing/Felt), with JHK taking the win and the $3,000 booty.  On the women's side, Georgia Gould (Luna Chix), Katie Compton (Planet Bike), Heather Irmiger (Subaru/Gary Fisher), and Kelli Emmett (Giant) battled it out, with Georgia Gould taking the win for her $3,000.

Lapping through after the first go-round...I'm buried.

Other fields were absolutely huge.  73 started in the men's Expert class.  Hundreds lined up for the Sport and Beginner classes.  On a day that was actually hot for Vail (temps in the low-80s and lots of sunshine), the race organizers had an absolutely brutal course on tap.  The Expert race involved three laps around a classic Vail course (which has hosted past World Cup races), with lots of muddy singletrack climbing, and even more technical, loose, and bumpy singletrack back down the mountain.  Each lap signed the racers up for 1500ft of vertical gain, with 7 miles of distance.

Based on reports from those at the finish line, this course did not let up on anyone.  Between the men's Pro and Expert fields, at least 15 racers registered a DNF due to the combination of the warmth, the elevation, and the fact that this course is super-difficult for this early in the season.

I was lucky enough to finish, but did not do so very gracefully.  Fighting a bout of exhaustion, a lack of motivation, and the fact I rode the Stumpy hardtail across what seemed like endless bumpy terrain, I wound up crossing the line in 58th of the 73 starters.  The entire third lap I spent in a very bad place - my body had pretty much blown up 20 minutes prior to starting the lap, and my lower back was hurting from the extreme effort and the bumpy terrain, so much so that I couldn't physically pedal with any force.  Soft-pedaling an entire 7 mile lap will take anyone a ton of time.

So, since then, I've been taking it pretty easy.  No biking Sunday, easy rode spin for an hour on Monday, then no biking Tuesday.  Wednesday had us locals all lining up for the second race in the Vail Rec District mountain bike series - the Eagle Classic.  Temps in the 90s in Eagle, with no precipitation for days, left racers with a very dusty and rippin' fast course.  Reatively flat, with 600ft elevation between the lowest and the highest points, and a grunt climb with 150ft gain over 200 meters means a really fast ride.  However, 85% singletrack for an XC course also means that it is very tactical, and if you're not careful, you can get caught in a bad situation early.

Typical to the races I've been to this year, massive groups of people.  In the Juniors race at 5:00pm, 70 riders toed the line.  Hundreds in both the Sport/Beginner wave at 5:45, as well as the Pro/Expert wave at 6:30.

Back end of the Sport wave. Hundreds showed to throw down.

Let's just say timing isn't VRD's strong suit.  The Pro/Expert field went off at 6:30 sharp, which meant we ran right into the back end of the women's Sport riders on our first lap.  The whole point of us starting later is for the course to be clear for our race.  Anyway, I got boxed in during a double-paceline start, and before I knew it, I literally ran right into the back end of a women's Sport rider.  Didn't mean to; just didn't have an option.  Unfortunately, on this course, my race was officially over at that point.  I finished, but that bobble put another 5 people by me, and spend the rest of the race trying to catch up.  Then on the subsequent downhill singletrack section, I got stuck behind the last-place men's Sport rider...who couldn't ride downhill.  [Get off the brakes, man!] But all in all, I had a good effort for the rest of the race, and finished 9th in the Expert category.  If I don't get caught in those particular situations, I probably finish 5th or so.  I just glad my teammate in Expert is killing it so far this year - two starts, two wins.  By huge margins.

Wormdrive Motors and You (CYCL 310, prereq. ENGG 105)

Course Syllabus:  In Cycling 310, Wormdrive Motors and You, we will be investigating the plausibility of utilizing a 'wormdrive' motor with planetary gear, powered by a small battery, to assist world-class cyclists through a six-hour race.  We will use factual and experimental data, review information presented by supposed testers of the system, and apply a little old-fashioned common sense and engineering judgement.  This class is in no way intended to provide actual in-lab experimentation and analysis; rather, the material makes basic educated assumptions and extrapolations.

Oh, and I did it over my lunch hour.  If you don't like it, well, come up with a better rebuttal.

Oh, boy.  Here we go.  Fabian Cancellara, the reigning Switzerland National Champion, has been accused of using a hidden motor within his bike's seat tube in order to gain the upper hand in his victories at Paris-Roubaix and Tour of Flanders earlier this year.

After watching some of the YouTube videos out there describing how this would have been possible (and supposedly accomplished), and understanding what the sport of Professional Cycling has been enduring the last several years regarding blood doping and other performance "enhancements", I came to the opinion that this step - using an electric motor hidden in the bike - is in the realm of human cloning.

You just don't cross that line.  If that line were to be crossed, and someone got caught, competitive cycling would not recover.  It would officially hit the validity in sports of the WWE.  Not to say it's not an athletic achievement, but not considered sport anymore.

Anyways, I set off over lunch today to really take a look at what would have been possible.

Supposedly, the battery for this system is installed under the bottom bracket, according to the video.  First of all, no pictures of the battery, yea or nay.  However, given these races are across some of the roughest roads known to man, let's suffice it to say that installing a battery pack on the underside of the bottom bracket wouldn't be the smartest idea, with the possibility of it being banged around and being rendered inoperable.

Installation of the motor seems plausible to me.  However, the installation shows the wiring going down the seat tube from the top, not vice versa.  Not sure how you hide that cable...seems to me that, with the number of riders staring at Cancellara's rear end for that long, someone would have noticed something.

Now for the power aspect:

Something so small as to not be seen by anyone means it's a pretty small battery.  A Shimano DuraAce Di2 battery pack would be way too big.  We're talking something in the realm of two to four AA-size batteries, if it were to be installed on the underside of the bottom bracket.

A new Energizer e2 lithium AA battery is capable of producing about 3000 milliamp-hours (mAh) at 1.5 volts.  Series-connect four batteries together, that gives us 3000mAh at 6.0v.  However, that's at very small amp draws.  In order to put this motor to good use, we're going to need to see at least a 200-watt increase in power.  Simple electrical engineering equations (P = v i  ; v = i r) show us that to provide 200 watts of power, we need to supply 33.3 amps at 6 volts.

Unfortunately, taking a look at the data sheets for the e2 lithium AA battery, the maximum continuous output of the battery is 2 amps (due to internal resistances); 3 amps at 2 second pulses.  Two seconds is not enough time to allow for a cyclist to truly pull away from another rider, so we throw that out.  Two amps is the most this battery can discharge for us. 

In order for the AA-battery bank to provide 200W of power to a motor (let's forget about resistance of the wiring, motor efficiency, and parasitic electronics for the time being), we would need to series-connect four AA cells into a set, and then parallel-connect 17 of these four cell sets.  Yes, that's 68 AA batteries.

I don't think Fabian had that hidden anywhere.  That's over two pounds of batteries, plus wiring.  Not exactly a Walkman, like we were looking for.

However, to this point, we've just explored the raw power available from the battery.  Now let's look at power available at the motor...

Assume, for this application, the circuit between the motor and the battery consists of 24AWG copper wire, which may be small enough to use electrical tape to sufficiently "hide" it from view.  Resistance of that wire is 0.0302 Ohms/ft.  Let's also assume that there is approximately 5 feet of wire in all.  That means the wiring exerts 0.151 Ohms, which the battery must overcome.  Applying Ohm's Law:

V=IR
V=(33.3A)*(0.151ohms)
V=5.03 volts

As this shows, the voltage to overcome the resistance in the wire, or "voltage drop" across that wire with our 68-cell setup is nearly as large as the voltage that is being applied...i.e. the motor does not see enough power to run.  The power available from the battery is spent trying to overcome the resistance in the wire.

Reversing the equation:
0.3v = (33.3A)*R
R = 0.0090 ohms = 0.0018 ohms/ft

In order to see within 10% of the output voltage (operating range), or 2.7 volts, at the motor, the resistance of the wire needs to be reduced to 0.0018 ohms/ft, which puts us at a 10AWG copper wire.  This wire is larger than most of the electrical wiring in your home.  Not exactly "hideable" on a bike.

Alternatively, the voltage of the battery could also be boosted to operate the motor.  Let's say we wanted to use 24AWG wire because it's small, and we still wanted to have a 200W output.  Let's make it a 24v motor:

P = V*I
200W = (24v)*(I)
I = 8.33 amps

2.4v = (8.33A)*R
R = 0.288 ohms = 0.0576 ohms/ft

Since our required wire resistance is greater than the actual resistance of a 24AWG wire, looks like it would work.  This scenario would put 16xAA-cells in series to create 24V, then 5 sets paralleled to create more than 8.33 amps.  Now we're at an 80 cell battery.

And we have not addressed the efficiency of the motor (not 100% mechanically efficient), or the fact that the electronics are probably parasitic to the power input (meaning the button and the "memory" functions also pull power from the battery).  Needless to say, this was not the power solution.

The most obvious choice would be to use a Shimano DuraAce Di2 battery.  This device is compact, and can be found on a number of bikes in the peloton (but not on Cancellara's bike either of those days).  Put the Di2 battery on, still use a standard mechanical transmission, voila.  Plausible, at least.

The Di2 battery has a rating of 530mAh at 7.4v.

200W = (7.4v)*I
I = 27.0 amps

At zero internal battery resistance (i.e. perfect battery):

530mAh / 27.0A = 0.196 h = 70.7 s

At the rated capacity and amperage required to operate the motor, with zero internal resistance, the battery *could* power a motor for a little over a minute.

But...

- Wire size would need to be in the realm of 16AWG to get power to the motor.
- Assuming a 5W leech of electronics, and a 90% mechanically efficient motor assembly, the actual power applied by the motor is limited to 175.5W.
- Again, with any battery, power supplied will decrease with the life of the battery.  So assume (again) you only get 80% of the useful life of the battery in one application, or 56 seconds.

Taking into account these assumptions, a perfect battery sized the same as the Di2 battery could potentially add 175.5W for nearly four 15 second bursts during a race.

But know that this perfect battery does not exist.  Internal resistances will likely limit that output current to just a couple of amps, and we're right back in the same boat as the AA battery.  As you will with any scenario.  The battery technology just doesn't exist to provide the kind of power these guys would need.  The battery needs to be huge to provide the kind of power these guys would notice (especially to justify the risk), and you just can't hide that size of a battery.

Adding 25W to a bike (which is what you would probably get out of an "invisible" battery) across a minute of a six-hour race is not going to change the outcome of the race.  And it sure as hell isn't going to gap those guys like he did on several occasions.  That is a solid 200-300W difference...also known as "dropping the hammer".  And I think I showed that you can't put 200-300W of mechanical assistance without having a battery that would be large enough to be recognized by anyone.

Ask yourself this - if this motor is how Fabian Cancellara "won", how do you explain his ability to time-trial across the last 15-45 MINUTES of the race, still opening the gap on Boonen?  Maybe Tom found someone that had a couple of lines scraped out for him...

Look, Cancellara might be all doped up on designer EPO or doing the "Floyd Method".  But never underestimate the power of the human motor.