Flying By The Seat Of My Pants

First off - my trip to the Lake Tahoe region...

I flew out to Truckee, CA last week for a two-day site visit at the almost complete Ritz-Carlton Highlands hotel at the Northstar-at-Tahoe resort.  I was the engineer responsible for the design of all the voice/data, television, audiovisual, and security infrastructure for that project, as well as the adjacent Ritz-Carlton Club building.  As such, this was my last chance to get my eyes on the construction of the project prior to turnover to the owner.

Typically, a pretty mundane experience.

Now I'm usually a pretty easy-going traveler when it comes to airline flights.  I understand that getting through security takes time, flights can be delayed, and there is a high chance of someone along the way invading the four-square-feet I occupy.

I made some, ahem, 'observations' on the flight to Reno that turned this into a not-so-friendly flight.  First off, there were A LOT of people getting on this plane.  And a fair number of them were, ummm, senior citizens.  As in "all senior citizens should wear Life Alert" senior citizens.  After boarding the plane, I realize that in my row (window seat), the middle and aisle seats are already full.  So I excuse myself and ask if I can get in...no problem.  Well, shuffling by them, the guy in the aisle seat smells like he's already drunk off his ass.  No worries - pop a piece of gum, and try to ignore.  The attendants start coming up and down the aisle to help with overhead bins - one of them is a total Stay-Puft.  Not a girl that is a little on the chunky side - I mean land monster.  Bad skin and all.  Doesn't really make me want to buy a snack box, if you know what I mean.

So we're all about wrapped up getting 130 people onto a plane with seats for 125, when a younger lady and her 2 year old come onto the plane.  All of a sudden, HOLY FEMULLET, what was THAT!?!  Yes, a woman with her business in front/party in back hairdo, acid washed jeans, Looney Tunes t-shirt and LA Gear hightops come running to the front of the plane, screaming, "WHY DID YOU LET THEM ON THE PLANE!  YOU DIDN'T LET HIM ON THE PLANE!  WHY IS SHE ON THE PLANE!"  Apparently, one of her family members got an after-the-fact "standby" because the plane was too full, but she, in her infinite wisdom, thinks they let this woman on the plane after they told her that "he" (whoever "he" is) couldn't board.  Seriously...she'll end up on the Denver version of 'Police Women of Broward County' or whatever that show is.  No doubt about it.

All this, and we ain't even shut the door to the plane yet!

The flight to Reno was bumpy.  Really bumpy.  As in the plane would shoot up or fall down what had to have been 100 feet at a time.  Meanwhile, I'm in my seat, minding my own business, playing a little Gran Turismo for my PSP.  Gotta kill the time somehow - and there's not much of a better way than that.  Thirty minutes into a 2-hour flight, the guy next to me, who is totally hogging the armrests and working diligently on his novel (yes - insert Family Guy clip between Stewie and Brian about Brian's ongoing novel), had to have crapped his pants.  RULE #1 - DON'T SIT NEXT TO THE GUY WITH A DIRTY DIAPER; MAKE SOMETHING UP TO MOVE.  Smelled like a toddler for the next 90 minutes.  At this point, I just wanted off the plane.  Over it.

Remember the unusual number of elderly I spoke of before?  18 FREEKIN' WHEELCHAIRS LINED UP ON THE JETWAY.  Praise the Lord I made it off the plane before that three-ring circus.

So I stroll up to the rental car counter, no problems.  However, it was raining pretty hard in Reno, and it was only 42 degrees, so I was a little concerned about the possibility for snow up in the Truckee area.  I upgraded from the reserved compact Hyundai hamster wheel with four tires to a "four-wheel drive" vehicle...what the hell, it was only $16/day extra.  I was naively expecting a Ford Escape or some other "little" SUV.

Nope.

Avis thought it would be better to give me a GMC Yukon XL SLT eight-passenger battleship with missiles that pop out from behind the headlights and a 40 speaker surround sound system with XM.  Just for me.
Now understand that I drive an Audi A4.  My car fits inside this damn thing.

The site visit went off without much of a hitch.  All in all, the project looks pretty darn good, and I'm proud to have been a part of it.  This picture is taken from within the Ritz-Carlton Suite.  Pretty mack-daddy, if you ask me.  It's not finished yet (no TV above the fireplace, for example), but pretty close to being done.  Yes, this is a hotel room.  It also has an office, three bedrooms, three bathrooms, a kitchenette (nicer than my kitchen), and a media room.

Here's a look at the back of the Hotel, from the skier's side.  This is just Wings C and B.  Wing D is off the picture to the left, Wing A is off the picture to the right, and Wing E is behind the junction of Wings C and D.

Finally, here is a picture of the kind of stuff I design.  This is the data horizontal cross-connect serving all the data ports in the administrative and back-of-house office areas.

Flight back was almost as fun.   I just want to take the opportunity to explain that security checkpoints in airports are not new, people.  All you have to do is pay attention, and you'll be just fine.  It's not the SAT, it's not your driver's license test, and unless you really want to get removed from the airport in handcuffs, you can't fail.

Unfortunately, someone in the Reno airport was determined to try to fail.  I got stuck behind the one person on this planet that has a human-interaction skill level of zero.  The security guard is explicitly telling her what to do, and she's not listening.  She just keeps asking questions, which he's already answered, and this 2-3 minute procedure is taking 15 MINUTES.  Eff me runnin'.  Deep breath - I'm in no hurry.  OK - on the plane.  Much better this trip - no one in the middle seat.  I've got my window seat and my PSP all to myself.  And no land monsters to be lookin' out for.

We get to Denver in record time - about 20 minutes early.  Unfortunately, there ain't no parking spots for the plane.  RULE #2 - IT DOES NO GOOD TO BE EARLY IF THERE'S NO PLACE TO PUT THE EFFIN' PLANE.  Cripes.  We sat on the tarmac twiddling our thumbs for 20 minutes.  Three words:  Facebook for iPhone.  Yep, I'm a junkie.  And it lets me vent my frustrations without screaming at the top of my lungs.

Sounds like a successful business trip, eh?