Don't Lie About Your Handicap

A businessman was attending a conference in Africa.
He had a free day and wanted to play a round of golf.
He was directed to a golf course in the nearby jungle.

After a short journey, he arrived at the course and asked
the pro if he could get on.

"Sure," said the Pro. "What's your handicap?"

Not wanting to admit that he had an 18 handicap,
he decided to cut it a bit. "Well, its 16," said the businessman,
"But what's the relevance since I'll be playing alone?"

"It's very important for us to know," said the Pro, who then
called a caddy. "Go out with this gentleman," said the Pro, "his
handicap is 16."

The businessman was very surprised at this constant
reference to his handicap. The caddy picked up the businessman's
bag and a large rifle. Again, the businessman was surprised but decided
to ask no questions.

They arrived on the 1st hole, a par 4. "Please avoid those trees on
the left," said the caddy. Needless to say, the businessman
duck-hooked his ball into the trees.

He found his ball and was about to punch it out when he heard the
loud crack of the rifle and a large snake fell dead from a
tree above his head. The caddy stood next to him with the
rifle smoking in his hand. "That's the mamba, the most poisonous snake
in all Africa. You're lucky I was here with you."

After taking a bogey, they moved to the 2nd hole, a par 5.
"Avoid those bushes on the right," says the caddy. Of
course, the businessman's ball went straight into the
bushes. As he went to pick up his ball, he heard the loud crack of
the caddy's rifle once more and a huge lion fell dead at his
feet. "I've saved your life again," said the caddy.

The 3rd hole was a par 3 with a lake in front of the green.
The businessman's ball came up just short of the green and
rolled back to the edge of the water. To take a shot, he had
to stand with one foot in the lake. As he was about to swing, a
large crocodile emerged from the water and bit off much of his
right leg. As he fell to the ground bleeding and in great pain, he saw
the caddy with the rifle propped at his side, looking on
unconcernedly. "Why didn't you kill it?" asked the man incredulously.

"I'm sorry, sir," said the caddy, "This is the 17th handicap hole, you
don't get a shot here."

That's why you never lie about your handicap.